This is why a lot of queer men (especially DL guys, bi, and "trade") have such an aversion and hesitancy to engage with effeminate men. While they have a certain level of courage and fearlessness for wearing their sexuality so publicly without reticence (and I understand that some are completely unable to hide it, even if they wanted), the flip side is that there is often a lot of indiscretion. In addition, they often have the same disinclination towards being with someone who isn't a "total top". It all boils down as a recipe for DRAMA, often unnecessary and extremely messy.
I try having gay friends it's really hard because that is always a competition for some reason every time I bring have a guy friend or a boyfriend the main gay person be like oh I bet you I could take them from you go ahead have them I don't care that's why I don't like having gay friends there's a bunch of jealousy everywhere