It doesn't have to be a prison. But it would be great if it were a larger group of truly perverse men who force me to be available at all times so they can live out their most extreme and disgusting fantasies on me whenever and for however long they want. The kind of perverts who only get really turned on when you start begging and crying and it's absolutely obvious that nothing that's going to happen is voluntary, and who then have the most fun when I'm just whimpering and my limits have long been reached, and who make me feel extra dirty, perverse, painful, and ruthless, showing me what I am in their eyes—namely, a mere object without any value, on which they egg each other on in their perverse desires and thoughts, and especially during long group sessions, going far beyond what is bearable and normal, and really coming up with very specific things they can force me to do to further break me down and cause me to lose my sense of self. I had an experience like that once in my twenties, and it almost completely broke me. I was forced to do things that I couldn't talk about for years, couldn't process, and couldn't understand. But at some point, I realized that I keep trying to put myself in similar situations and relationships. Either they succeeded in what their goal was back then, or I was simply always destined for this. But today, I would wish to still be in contact with those 5-6 guys from back then and spend a few days on a farm again, being treated like a mare in the stable and "living" in the dog kennel.